Happy birthday, Luke!!!

My big boy is 7!  How did that happen?  Even though it seems like an eternity, I can still remember the relief I felt when he was FINALLY here after the doctors tried to induce for 4 days.  He is such a great kid, and he continues to make us proud on a daily basis. 

His actual birthday celebration was delayed due to a pretty bad tummy bug (and a trip to the ER), but we were able to celebrate as a family on his big day with a cupcake from Ooh La La.  A week later we had our big shindig at Sky Sports Houston.

7 candles in that big cupcake!

Cade, Andrew, and Emma

(I love the look on Emma's face!) 

PIZZA!!!!

Buddies since kindergarten!

Cade, Luke, Thomas, and Logan 

 Sweet Baby Bryce

My precious family 

Luke and Taylor

These two decided that next year they would just have their birthday parties alone....without anyone else...They really do love each other 

Yes, I'm still here!

It occurred to me that I hadn't blogged much lately.  When I logged on I noticed that it had been since March 2!  I don't know the last time I went almost three months!  Sorry about that!  I would say that things have been dull, but you all know that's a lie.  Life is never dull around here.

Luke finished up his soccer season and is ready for fall soccer to start.  It's hard to believe that my baby will be 7 in just a few weeks.  He is finishing up first grade with all A's and rave reviews from his teacher.  I feel so blessed to have such a smart, sweet, funny little guy.  His sense of humor has really flourished.  The other day I was dancing to the "Rio" soundtrack and he looked at me with his skeptical look on his face and said, "Really mom?"  WHAT ARE YOU?  A TEENAGER???  It was hilarious.

Clay is doing great.  He loves to be outside!  Luckily the weather has been nice and we get to spend a lot of time in our front yard playing with the kids in the neighborhood.  He is still going to Shape and will continue there through the summer.  They don't follow a traditional school calendar.  Well, because it's not school.  It's therapy.  Any changes to the normal schedule causes setbacks, regression, and unwanted stress for all of us, so we are grateful for this!  He loves going and is really emerging in some of his pre-academic skills.  He is recognizing sight words, y'all!  He's my little genius :-).

Trent and I are doing great.  I finished up my year at the pre-school two weeks early due to a hysterectomy.  Not to bore you with details, but I've had "issues" for about three years and enough was enough.  The surgery was abdominal as opposed to laparoscopic, so the recovery has been pretty intense. I thought it would be just like one of my c-sections.  No sweat!  I can do this!  Was I ever wrong.  This has been WAY more intense than a c-section.  I guess when you remove something that God intended to stay there, things can go a little crazy.  Trent has been absolutely amazing!  He is the best, and may I add most handsome, nurse ever!  He has taken wonderful care of me and I am so grateful that he has the flexibility to work at home!  I can't imagine this recovery without that luxury.  

The hardest part of all of it has been missing my mom.  I miss her more than ever.  The first thing I said when I came out of surgery was though tears and it was, "I want my mom!"  It's been three weeks and one day since my surgery and I have cried for her every day.  There are times when even the strongest dam leaks, you know.  Mother's Day was especially hard, but my boys more than made up for it.  My friends have been amazing and pulled together to provide six weeks of dinners for us.  Knowing that Trent is able to focus on taking care of the boys and me and doesn't have to worry about planning meals, doing grocery shopping, and cooking is a huge relief for all of us.  I have friends who have taken me to run errands, or who have just run them for me!  The first time out of the house, other than to go to the doctor, my friend, Kim, took me to get a hair cut.  I desperately needed to go to Costco to stock up on stuff, so she took me there as well.  What a sight I was!  After riding in the car, getting my hair cut and eating breakfast I was too pooped to pop, but I NEEDED to go to Costco.  So, you guessed it.  I was the lady on the scooter!  We laughed especially hard when my first scooter just died in the middle of the aisle and she had to run and get me a new one.  Let me tell you, folks.  Be nice to ladies in the scooters!  You never know why they're in one! 

  I am healing, and although it is a much slower process than I anticipated, I am thankful for the opportunity to have some forced rest.  It's difficult to let go and release the control of running the house, taking care of the boys, doing the chores, running here, there and everywhere, but it has been a much-needed time of respite.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't know just how very fortunate I am.  I am looking forward to getting back into choir, going to the pool with Luke, and making it past 1:30 without needing a 3 hour nap, but I know it will all come in time.  For now I'll just rest and enjoy the quiet and stillness.  It doesn't happen very often around here!

New Beginnings

Ladies and Gentlemen, we'd like to introduce you to Big Boris!!

Boris is a gorgeous 1 1/2 year old black lab that we are adopting from South Texas Labrador Retriever Rescue.  After Petey died, we knew that we wanted another dog this summer, but we also knew that going through the puppy stages while recovering from surgery and dealing with the day-to-day challenges of Autism didn't sound appealing to anyone.  We loved the idea of rescuing a dog, but we (translation I ) felt adamant about having another Lab.  I grew up with Labs.  Petey was a Lab.  I know the breed and I trust it.  So, after some discussion, we registered with STLRR.  Our application was submitted, I participated in an hour-long phone interview, my four (yes, four) references were thoroughly interviewed, my veterinarian was contacted, we had a home visit, and then we were approved!  They asked if there were any dogs on the website that we were particularly interested in.  Each time I logged onto the STLRR website, I was drawn to this dog's picture.  He's beautiful!  The description on their website sounded like he would be the perfect dog for us.  I didn't get my hopes up, but I knew that we wanted to meet this dog that they were temporarily calling "Big Ben."  A meeting was arranged.  Trent and I drove out to Spring and met this black beauty and it was love at first sight!  We found out that he was an owner-surrender to a kennel.  When his foster parents got him in March, it was obvious that he had been just left outside and forgotten about.  He was underfed and craved attention.  They have fattened him up some, although he still has quite a bit more weight to gain to catch up with the rest of his body.  They also got him house-trained and for that we are SO grateful!

You might wonder why we are changing his name.  We're changing it for two reasons.  One is that this helps foster a sense of ownership, and give the dog a new identity in his new life.  They didn't know what his name was when they got him, so they just gave him a temporary name.  The second reason is that we name our dogs after tennis players!  You may or may not know that Petey was named after Pete Sampras.  So, Big Boris is named after one of Trent's all-time favorites, Boris Becker.  We toyed around with Andre', but when we saw him, we definitely knew that his personality was more suited to Boris!

I'm so excited to be Boris's new mommy!  He is such a beautiful dog, with a gorgeous coat, white teeth, a love for chasing and retrieving a ball, and is very motivated by food.  We're a good match that way.  HA!  One of my friends said, "No!  Tell them you want a dog with a longer tongue!"  We'll take him just the way he is.  God knew we'd need Boris and Boris would need us!

We met Boris the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  On the way home I asked Trent if he was ready to bury Pete's ashes.  He said, "Yep.  It's time."  So, we stopped at the nursery and bought a white crepe myrtle.  

On Memorial Day we buried Pete with his collar and leash in our front flowerbed by the porch.  This is one of our favorite places to sit and it will be neat to know that a part of him is with us out there.  We also chose this spot so that he could always be on guard and protecting our house.  We put the white crepe myrtle in front of him. It will bloom gorgeous white flowers for many years to come.

Luke was very much interested in being involved with this process.  He asked to be the one to place Petey in the ground.  

My two big boys planted the tree and then Trent said a sweet prayer.  We were all sad, but at the same time we know that Petey was such a good dog and will never be replaced.  

After Trent went in, I sat on the porch and talked to Luke.  I pretended to play on my phone but just stayed there with Luke in case he had any questions.  He stood there just like this for a long time.  He had no idea I was taking his picture.  Experiencing grief through a child's eyes is something pretty amazing.  They love with such a raw, pure emotion.  We can learn a lot from our kids.

Easter

Easter was a quiet affair this year...nothing like the big family gathering we had last year, but it came with some of its own pleasant surprises.

The Easter Bunny brought the boys Angry Birds beach towels, the movie "Hop" and books!

Sunday morning the boys were thrilled with their loot and we all got ready for worship.  It was a strange thing to not be in the choir loft for the first time in nearly 12 years on Easter Sunday, but I did enjoy sitting with my family in the pew!

My handsome men

Brothers!

I think this might be one of my most favorite pictures ever.  

I'm bummed that this picture is blurry, but I have to include it!  This is my Aunt Naomi and Uncle Totsy (his real name is Caton, but I will never call him that.  To me he'll always be Totsy!).  Uncle Totsy is my mom's brother and there was something so special about standing next to him and singing hymns in church.  I truly miss my mom and my grandparents, so having him with me felt like I had a bigger piece of them with me.

Our neighbors joined us for worship and we joined them after for brunch!

You can see that it was pretty bright on the car ride home.  Luke asked to borrow Daddy's shades.

 Not to be outdone, Clay had to borrow Mommy's shades.

After church we headed over to the Connor's house for brunch and an egg hunt!  The beautiful redheads are Avery and Ella.  My boys LOVE these girls (and I kinda think they're neat, too!)

We had a wonderful day with each other.  I love the hope that Easter brings and the feeling of renewal, expectation, and triumph.  HE IS RISEN!

Is it "old new stuff" or "new old stuff"?

Well, the old pixie cut made a come-back. Life-changing information, isn't it? HA!

Trent has gone back to Drilling Info! After six months away he realized that Drilling Info was a part of him and he wanted to go back. They were so happy to have him back and he started February 21. He wasn't unhappy at Esri, but he really missed the company, the culture, the product, the people, and the industry. He is so happy and it's fun to see that fire in his eyes again. I love the Drilling Info family just as much as he does, so it's a win-win for both of us!

After Christmas I posted about all the new changes Clay would experience in January. When he turned 3 he qualified for PPCD, so we thought we'd give it a try. His schedule was a bit busy for me to comprehend, so I can't imagine how it felt for him. He loved riding the school bus each day and was very excited to tell anyone who asked "I ride a school bus today!"

He did well at his new school and at St. Peter's, but we were seeing a lot of regression at home. Some of the old behaviors that had been extinguished returned and some new concerning behaviors were emerging. We thought that it was due to all the change and transition and life events that occurred in such a short time, but after his occupational therapist and our pediatrician both mentioned that they were noticing it as well, we decided that it was in his best interest (and ours) to put him back at Shape. The more ABA therapy he receives now, the greater chance he has of a more functional life later. Our pediatrician also mentioned that it would reduce the chance of his need for medication to help him regulate his moods and behaviors later. I had been feeling uneasy about the way Clay was regressing, so upon hearing this from his OT and pediatrician, I immediately called Shape and he was back within 7 days. It made us feel so good to know how excited THEY were to have him back. His teachers at the elementary school and at St. Peter's were sad to lose him, but they all agreed that what was best for Clay was of the utmost importance. As of this posting, he has been back for ten days and we can already see positive changes.

It's been a rough few months, I won't lie. (More details on a big event that changed all of us a few posts down). We have had to make a lot of changes and slow life waaaaaaay down in some areas. I haven't been to choir since Christmas. Yes, you read that correctly. Most weeknights we needed all hands on deck and when we didn't I was exhausted to the point of tears. (I'm planning to go back after Easter and I'm relieved to know they want me back and aren't mad at me for being gone. HA! )

Things are beginning to turn back around. I'm seeing my old Clay again. This does so much for my soul, but at the same time it's crushing and scary as hell. Will he need ABA forever? Will he ever be able to function in a regular school? Will new concerning behaviors continue to emerge? I don't like living in a world of unknown. I don't like all the what-ifs. I don't like hearing Clay yell and scream in sheer frustration for hours on end and not have any idea what is wrong or how to help him. I don't like that I have to explain to Luke over and over again that Clay can't help it and then lose my cool because I am at my wits end. I don't like that Luke gets his feelings hurt because he doesn't understand why some rules don't seem to apply to Clay.

I don't like that I can't look in the classroom across the hall and peek in on

my kiddo everyday. I don't like seeing how the simplest task can completely overwhelm him to the point of exhaustion. I don't like the fact that he had regressed back to the point of me not being able to go to the bathroom by myself at times. I just don't like it. What I do like is predictability. I like structure. I like having a plan. I like seeing results. I like seeing Clay proud of himself when he learns something new. I like routine. I like hearing Clay actually play and interact with his brother and not just repeat everything he says. I like that Shape understands my likes and dislikes and sets forth a plan to to get those results, form a routine, and equip Clay with the tools necessary for growth and improvement.

There are days when the reality of Autism is so painful and so scary that all I can do is cry and pray. I cry because of the realities of this disability and what it means for Clay's future and ours, but also because of the physical and mental exhaustion we all endure. I pray that God will always show me the big signs that guide us along this journey. My prayer all along has been that God will put the right people in our lives. He continues to do that. He has been very faithful that way.

Autism treatments aren't cheap. When I wondered "How will we pay for this?" I saw a blurb in the bulletin at church saying they needed teachers at the pre-school. I wouldn't have this job had it not been for a financial need, but this job, as it turns out, has been more than a financial gain. I love my coworkers. I love my kiddos. I love my job! I never wake up in the morning and think, "Ugh, I don't wanna go to work!" I thank God for that.

Autism is challenging. It has brought Trent and I closer than I thought we could be. We've always had what I considered to be a great marriage, but through this journey we have learned in many ways just how strong our marriage is. We rely on each other and understand each other's emotions in ways that nobody else possibly could.

As I sit here and look at the novel I've just written I want you to understand that our life isn't full of sadness and despair. We have lots of happy times and we have good days. We celebrate small victories in big ways and big victories in huge ways. The friends that remain in our corner continue to sustain us with their prayers, phone calls, and fellowship. Our circle seems to get smaller and smaller, but when I step back and look at it, I am thankful for the ways it has stretched to include people we never would have met otherwise.

One of my favorite sayings I've seen recently is "God doesn't give us what we can handle. God helps us handle what we are given." I thank him daily for ALL He has given me and pray that He will continue to guide my footsteps.

Dinner with Papaw

Now that Clay is back at Shape, we are in Papaw's neck of the woods more often. Trent's travel schedule last week allowed us a free night out, so I called my favorite Papaw (ok, my only Papaw) and asked him if he'd join us for an early dinner. You would never know looking at his picture, but my Papaw just celebrated his 89th birthday!!! He is witty, intelligent, thoughtful, and loves his 4 kids and their spouses, 10 grand kids, and 6 great grand kids.

I love hearing the stories he tells me each time we get together. He grew up on a farm in Forney, Tx and had a pet donkey. He graduated from Rice University in 1944 and would hitchhike from Forney to Houston while carrying the bass horn he played in the band. He was in the Navy and his ship lead the invasion on Okinawa. He was an engineer with Humble Oil and then Exxon. He has been all over the world, but prefers to be in his recliner with his labrador retriever nearby and a golf game or an old Western on the tv. His stories are varied, but so rich. I wish I had the ability to sit down with him and have him dictate a book about his life. For now, I'll just cherish the time we spend together and remember as many stories as I can to pass on to my little guys.

Soccer Season

It's that time of year again...SOCCER TIME!! We didn't do fall soccer because so many people told us that first grade would be a big adjustment from kindergarten and we wanted to have as little distraction as possible (HA! What's that like?). Lucky for us, Luke is a rockstar and first grade has been smooth sailing. He has yet to bring home a report card with anything below a 95. He is reading chapter books at warp speed, and I have a hard time finding a suitable series for him to read before he finishes the one he's on. Having said that, we knew throwing some much-needed soccer time in wouldn't pose any problems for him.

He played last year and it was really cool to see how he and some of the kids from his team last year have improved. This year he is on an all boy team and all the boys on his team are in first grade with him at his school. Watching their improvement from a skill standpoint is impressive, but that's not the coolest part. The coolest part is seeing how much they support each other and encourage each other on the field. The level of sportsmanship is amazing. I've seen many adults who could learn from these little guys.

The video above is from practice this week. They were playing three-on-three and Luke was so proud of himself for scoring a goal against three defenders. He kept saying it over and over, "Mom, there were THREE defenders and I goaled!" The kid cracks me up. Luke is the tall guy in the green shirt. He runs behind the coach from time to time, but you see the all-important kick. Too bad the camerawoman didn't get the ball going into the net. The reaction of his team and coaches (and the aforementioned camera woman) lets you know when he scores.

He is such a neat kid. He is 100% a Daddy's boy, but every now and then we have some special moments. Last night after soccer he asked me, "Mom, can we go to dinner just you and me?" I was not about to pass up an opportunity for one-on-one time that HE requested. He is asking a lot of questions about all sorts of different topics and I really enjoy seeing how his brain works. A lot of times I will lay in bed on Saturday mornings when Trent gets up with the boys and just listen. They play with their dad in a completely different way than they do with me. Luke is creative, imaginative, curious, respectful, and sensitive. He cares about other people's feelings and wants so much to please others.

I tell him all the time that I am proud of him. I think he gets sick of hearing it, but it's true. He has had to understand some pretty grown-up concepts over the past few months. He still has questions, but he is a great example for all of us.

Goodbye, Sweet Pete

If you know me well, you know that I love my dog more than some people love their children. The fact of the matter is, Petey was our firstborn. I woke up in Midland on Sunday morning, May 5, 2002, and was dead set that we were going to get a dog. I am not embarrassed to say that I begged - yes, begged!- for a lab puppy. We got in the car and drove for what was supposed to be a 2 hour drive to the other side of Lubbock. Five hours and one tornado later we were in Tulia, Texas at Rainbow Kennels. The owner lead us out to the kennels where we passed three or four litters of pups that weren't ready before we got to the litter that was ready for sale. All these precious black and yellow puppies were running up to us, tails wagging, mouths yapping, eager for us to take them home. In the not too far distance was a red barn with a ramp coming out of a doggie door. There was the fattest little yellow lab laying on the ramp with his head barely raised as if to say, "You want me? Come and get me." I said, "I want to see THAT one." The owner went over and got him and placed him in my arms. The rest is history. Pistol Pete was ours. We named him after Pete Sampras, Trent's favorite tennis player. We had these visions of playing in the backyard, long games of fetch, walking our dog all over town, and taking him swimming anywhere there was water. Little did we know, Peteyboy would be the most UN-lab labrador we'd ever seen. He HATED water. When we took him swimming he wanted to be on the float. He HATED to be walked. When we tried, he would lay down and not budge. When we threw the ball for him, he'd look at us like, "Uh, and just what do you expect me to do with that? YOU go get it." He HATED being outside. If he could have learned to use the toilet to avoid going outside to do his business, he would have. Even so, we loved him so much.

Thursday, January 26, I let him out for his morning potty break. He took care of business and laid down. This was weird, but even weirder because the grass was wet. He was not a fan of wet grass. I called for him to come and he just looked at me. I went over to him to prod him along and he wouldn't budge. I realized that he couldn't walk. I got the leash in an effort to spook him in. He took two steps and fell down. Two more steps and down again. I finally got him in and immediately called the vet. Even though this was a new vet for us, they asked to see him immediately. What we later learned was that Petey had a mass on his spleen and he was severely anemic. Our sweet boy had cancer.

It was our goal to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as possible. The thing about labs is that they will never let you know if they are in pain until it becomes unbearable. One week later, we knew that we couldn't prolong his suffering anymore and we made the excruciating decision to have him put down.

As hard as it was for Trent and me, it was especially hard for the boys, mainly Luke. Clay still walks around the house and says, "Want Petey?" Luke cried himself to sleep for 4 nights and sometimes still goes to sleep with Pete's picture in his hands. Petey is all they've ever known.

We know that we will get another lab this summer, but for now we can't imagine loving another dog the way we loved Pete. Each morning when I come downstairs, I miss seeing him at the bottom of the stairs. Whenever I cut the crusts off a peanut butter sandwich, my heart hurts a little because there's not a pink nosed snout waiting for me to drop it. There are more goldfish on the floor than ever because my little helper isn't there to get the dropped ones.

Petey was such a great dog. Some people may never understand, but you dog lovers know all about that paw-shaped hole in our hearts.

We love you, Sweet Peteyboy!

A few pictures that didn't make the Christmas Card....

This first one is the one that actually made the card. How handsome are my sweet little dudes?!?!?

But we did have some outtakes....

I love Clay's expression here! This one is actually framed and in my house.

My precious nephews, Alex and Wesley

Belly button lint, anyone?

Brothers

BOO!!

No caption necessary

We started taking Christmas pictures of the boys when Luke and Alex were babies. They look so grown up now.

Puzzles

My sweet little guy has amazed us so much this year. What he accomplished in 5 months at Shape of Behavior takes some kids years. He is smart. He is joyful. He is eager to please. And he is about to go through another transition.

Change is hard on all of us, but it is especially hard for a child with Autism. So much of Clay's happiness and stability depends on continuity, structure, and routine. Just the past week of his normal routine being interrupted by birthdays, presents, Christmas, vacation, and visitors has rocked his stable foundation. His "behaviors" that are most often associated with Autism seem more pronounced and more frequent. I am praying (and I ask you to join me) that the next few weeks of change will be gentle and easy for him and us.

We have decided that Clay is ready for some new challenges. After much discussion, prayer, research, and questioning all parties, we have decided to enroll Clay in Katy ISD's Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities (PPCD). He will go to an elementary school from 8:30-11:30 where he'll be in a class with about 13 other students with varying disabilities. Some have Autism, some have Down's Syndrome, some just have a significant speech delay. He has one lead teacher and two aides. Their goal is to continue to incorporate Clay into the day-to-day routine of school and prepare him for kindergarten. The PPCD evaluation team as well as his therapists at Shape, Trent and I all agree that Clay needs more interaction with neurotypical peers. For this reason we will also enroll him at St. Peter's Early Childhood Development Center (ECDC). This is the pre-school at our church where I also teach. You may remember that Clay went for a month in September when we thought we weren't going to have ABA coverage. So, what does this dual enrollment look like?

Clay will go to PPCD on MWF from 8:30-11:30. A bus will bring him to ECDC for lunch and naptime sine I work on those days. Tuesdays and Thursdays he will be at ECDC for a full day. This not only allows him the interaction with his neurotypical peers, but it also allows us to keep his OT schedule the same, and over time will allow us to add even more OT to help him with his sensory and motor skills. The good news is that if we feel at any time that Clay is regressing or not progressing the way he should, we can put him back at Shape, but we feel at this time that we need to try something new to broaden his horizons and expose him to more.

All of this sounds great, so why am I terrified? I am terrified because change is hard on me, too. I know what to expect when I drop him off at Shape every day. I know how much they love my child and I know how much he loves them. I know in detail what they are teaching him and I know in detail how he is responding. I know that he is comfortable there and I know that he feels safe. I don't know if all of his new teachers will love him the way he is loved at Shape. I don't know if they will be able to understand that a lot of his "cute behaviors" are ones that need to be corrected and extinguished. I don't know if they will understand that his screams and outbursts aren't typical three year old tantrums, but they are out of his control and a result of overstimulation and sensory overload. I won't know how his day was when I pick him up because he can't communicate his fears, his anxieties, his joys, or his triumphs. There is so much I don't know, and so much that they will have to learn.

An Autism diagnosis gave us a lot of opportunities and opened the door for so many more options for Clay, but it did not come with an instruction manual. Autism effects every child differently. There is no road map here. So much is unknown and that scares the hell out of me. I so desperately want to make sure that I am providing my child with everything he needs at the right time, in the right order, with the right people. The truth of the matter is, I don't know what the right timing is, what the right order is, or who the right people are. I just have to go with my gut and pray that my instincts are correct. I have to listen to the experts that we have surrounded ourselves with and trust that the advice they are giving me is the best for MY child. What works for one won't necessarily work for him. The truth is that we don't know the answer. We don't know if this is the right plan. We don't know what comes next. This is trial and error. We have to figure it out step by step, day by day, task by task. If something doesn't work, we try again from a different angle.

People who have met me in the past year or so say things like, "You are the most patient person I have ever met." People who have known me my whole life laugh hysterically when I tell them that people have said this. The truth is, I have never been patient, nor do I deal well with change. I prayed daily for patience for many years.

And then God gave me Clay.

The universal symbol for Autism is a puzzle piece. Sort of ironic that my sweet Clay loves puzzles. Sometimes you find that your piece fits perfectly with another piece. Most of the time you find that your piece isn't a fit and you have to keep looking. We found that our piece locked in perfectly with Shape of Behavior. But that is just one small piece of the big puzzle. We are hoping for a complete picture one day. We have to keep looking for the other pieces.

Merry Christmas, Y'all!

Many of you own or know someone who owns an Elf on a Shelf. I've laughed hysterically at some of the pictures and facebook posts of my friends' elves' antics, such as making snow angels in spilled flour, zip-lining across the living room from the fireplace to the tree, drawing pictures on all the family photos with dry-erase markers....you get the point. Our elf wasn't quite so creative, but Luke enjoyed her anyway. YES, you read that correctly. Our elf is a female. Luke declared that SHE was named Fluffy the day she arrived. Fluffy sometimes forgot to move from place to place, but when she did move, Luke was always amused to see where she landed. We've had some pretty grown-up conversations lately about God, Jesus, Santa, church, heaven, and angels. Luke is getting to the age where he's trying to make sense of it all, and Fluffy took notice. This was the letter she wrote the boys before she left to go back to the north pole for Christmas Eve.

Dear Luke and Clay,

I have had such a good time watching the two of you over the past month. You are both very good little boys and Santa has been very happy with my reports.

Luke, you are such a good brother to Clay. I have seen how patient you are with him and how much you try to make him happy. Not all big brothers are as nice to their little brothers as you are. I know it must make your mommy and daddy very happy to watch you teach Clay how to do the things you like to do. I’ve really enjoyed watching you play the Wii and build with your Legos.

Clay, I’ve never been to a birthday party before! I wish I would have been able to eat some pancakes, but then I would have gotten syrup all over my outfit. I’m like you and I don’t like it when I get syrup on my hands. You have the best laugh and I can tell that your Bubba is your best friend. (Try not to hit Petey. He’s an old dog and just wants to protect you.) Way to go on the potty training, dude!

By the time you read this I’ll be back at the North Pole getting ready for Christmas Eve. I had a great time in your house listening to you all talk. The conversation I overheard that made me the most proud was when Luke immediately knew that Santa, me and the other elves are just a little part of Christmas. The true reason for our preparations, celebrations, excitement, gifts, and joy is that Jesus was born!! Always remember that Jesus was God’s greatest gift to you. If you keep that in your heart, you will be able to share the gift of God’s love all year long.

Merry Christmas!!!

Fluffy

We had a wonderful Christmas and truly enjoyed the fact that it was just the four of us. The year Luke was born we made the decision that Christmas was going to be just for our family from then on. Since then we've enjoyed our own family traditions and made memories that will last a lifetime.

One of our favorite things to do is to prepare Santa's snack for Christmas Eve. This year Luke wanted to make blueberry muffins. You know, because they're healthier than all the other junk food Santa would get. Um, ok. Blueberry muffins it is. Good thing Santa knew that there was some chocolate bourbon pecan pie in the fridge. Anyway, I digress....

Here we are making our muffins.

Too bad he has no personality.

This was his first time to use the muffin scoop. He declared it was going to make his muscles BIG!!!

After all the preparations were complete we got ready for church. It isn't often that I get dressed up, but when I do, Luke always takes notice. When I came downstairs he was speechless. I said, "Luke, does Mommy look ok?" He said, "Mommy, you're so pretty tonight." Love that kid. I was singing for four services, so we got in two cars and headed to church. I sang "O Holy Night" for the 5:00 service. I loved that my family was able to be there, but I also enjoyed seeing many of my little ones from my preschool class in the congregation. They were also impressed that Ms. Amy was so dressed up. One of them even commented on the fact that I had a mouth. I guess I don't wear lipstick much at preschool. HA!

When I sang, it was difficult to look at Luke for fear that I would choke up, but when I did, his eyes were as big as platters. At one point he leaned over to Trent and said, "Mommy's loud!" Um, I guess that was his way of saying I project? Anyway, when I sat down, he said, "Good job, Mommy" and held my hand.

A week before Christmas Luke asked me why I always cry on Christmas Eve. I told him that I don't cry because I'm sad. I cry because my heart is so full of love and joy that it overflows out of my eyes. His response was, "That's a lot of love and joy, Mom." Yes, it is. And here's an example.

When "Silent Night" began and all the candles were being lit, Luke got very excited. This was the first Christmas Eve that he's been in the traditional candlelight service. When all the candles had been lit, Trent told him to turn around and look. His face was priceless. Experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a child will never get old. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me these moments.

Here we are just before the service.

I got home after the boys were nestled all snug in their beds and visions of sugar plums were dancing in their heads...

Santa got to work.

For Clay it was the year of Disney. Rock and Roll Mickey, The Lion King, and Woody from Toy Story were his gifts from Santa. For Luke it was all about Star Wars. A Wii Game, some Star Wars Legos, and a football were his Santa gifts. He also got some books in his stocking. My smart boy is reading chapter books!

"COOL!"

"Woody with a brown hat!!"

The boys got some wonderful gifts from our families. Luke was thrilled to receive so many Star Wars Lego kits, all four Home Alone movies, and the latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid book. Clay got not just one, but two different tricycles, both of which he loves, a Buzz Lightyear talking figure, a basketball goal, and an easel, but I'm pretty sure his favorite gift came from Grandma...

What a rock star!

There were two moments in the day that especially stood out. The first one was after we'd finished opening all of our presents. Luke said, "All this stuff is awesome, but my favorite gifts are you guys." Trent and I were speechless. Later that day while we were eating dinner (I made my first ever prime rib and it was delicious!) I asked Luke what his favorite thing about Christmas Day had been. I expected him to say something about the football, the Wii games or the Legos, but once again he left us speechless when he said, "My favorite thing about Christmas Day was spending time together."

Sometimes we get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. There's nothing like the perspective of a very smart 6 year old to remind you what it's all about.

And let's not forget the most wonderful puppy dog in the world.

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night!

Happy Birthday, Clay!!!

As cliche as it sounds, I can't believe my baby boy is 3 years old! Where has the time gone? We celebrated his big day with a Pajamas and Pancakes Party. We invited our neighbors in the cul-de-sac as well as the Parrish Family and the Lundemo Family. Of course Aunt Myra, Grandma Liz, Grandpa Like (whose name is really Mike), and Great Gran came as well. At one point we had about 30 people here. It was so much fun and Clay loved it! The best part was knowing that so many people love our little guy enough to come over in their jammies :-).

Here's Grandma Liz helping me with the pancakes!

Getting a squeeze from Aunt Myra

This is Mandy. She is Clay's favorite therapist and I swear to you she was the guest of honor! He was so excited she was here!

The Big Kids!

Clay loved playing in the backyard with all of his friends, big and small, but I think the most fun was had by Petey. He ran for about two hours straight. Whitney said, "I've never seen Pete this active!" That's saying something, folks. Whit's known Petey for a long time!

Here's Clay with one of his favorite gifts, a Thomas the Train Bath Toy from Great Gran

But this was his MOST favorite toy...a Super Mario Figure. He couldn't stop playing with it! We weren't even sure if he was going to open anymore presents because he was so excited about this one. (If you look at the previous picture you'll note that he's still holding Mario)

And here he is again.

When Clay would finally allow us to sing to him (if you know Clay, you know exactly what I mean by "allow us to sing to him") he kept asking us to sing it again. We sang "Happy Birthday" to Clay three times.

I'd sing it a hundred times to make that boy smile....